London Ontario Canada

May 2, 2011

Live 2011 Election Day Coverage–Read It Here First! Or Whatever.

Today is the big day in Canada! Last week the Britain’s tried to upstage our elections with a Royal Wedding. Last night the American’s tried to upstage us by finally killing Bin Laden while he was at his mansion in Pakistan shooting Osama Gone Wild: Indie Edition. Voices in my head  claim the CIA wore burqa disguises. Neither ploy worked. A headline this morning (or maybe it was a Twitter feed (The Nielsen Company says an estimated 5.2 million Canadians watched the Royal Wedding; 23 million Americans rose early to watch #fb),  said that some people got up early to watch the wedding and even more got up to watch FB. Is that Facebook? Why get up early? The good shit don’t start until the polls close . Personally, I got up early to pee, but that does not reflect on the rest of the country. No pollsters called to inquire. Anyways, as the title says this will be Live! coverage of Election Day in Canada. I can say live, because I am alive. If I stop being alive I will change the title and hope my passing is met with “sober satisfaction” as opposed to “drunken glee”.

Timeline:

8:00 am : scour FB and Twitter to see if there are any good lines to steal. Get the feel of how one covers that day of the election when nothing really starts getting exciting until the polls close. Reply to Buddy’s email re: golfing in the rain.

8:05 am: Done “scouring” FB and Twitter. It was exhausting and I feel like a nap. E-taunted Buddy re: golf.

8:29 am:  Taking a break for a coffee and smoke or as my late mom used to say, “A whore’s breakfast”.

10:14 am. I can see the roof of the polling station from here. I can report there is no activity on the roof at this time.

10:17 am: Moments of realization…. I just learned that “real” writers proofread their work (or have someone else do it) BEFORE they publish.  To me that is a novel concept I will contemplate…sorta’ proofread it in my head.

I have to be ready for golf in 45 minutes and have done zero prep so far. As Norm McDonald Tweeted “I better go look in my closet for the least dirty shirt.” Or something like that.

10:22 am: Putting foot down on procrastination and hitting the showers, finding my golf shoes, grabbing my balls and heading out.

10:23 am:  Orange is my colour of the day.

10:35 am: Had the idea to do a LIVE POLLING RESULTS thingy in contrary to the Elections Canada rule on that. I will not report the actual polls, so I am safe. Neener-neener.

10:57 am: Hangs sign saying” Gone Golfing

5:33pm : Done golfing, dropping off rent cheque,voting, getting catfood and batteries for my mouse…I think I am safe to hunker down now.

Golf was fine. No rain, but little sun. It was cool, to say the most. I shot about what I always do. Some pars,  a string of 4’s and then those other ones. My golf swing is like a box of chocolates……

Voting: The polling station was dead, Nary a soul, except in my line. The pollsters were deathly slow. The guy in front of me needed to register. That’s okay. I dig that. But the woman doing the registering was slow, slow, slow and talked like the guy was a 12 year old. When it was my turn ( I had all documents at the ready) she took a look and said fine, then had her partner circle some numbers on a form she screwed up before I got there. That done she then took a few minutes seemingly teaching her partner how to find and mark off my name. Finally I had ballot in hand and I went into hiding to mark it. I came out with the number side up, but the woman was now talking to someone else, explaining that they didn’t have proper ID. It took a few minutes to get through the tearing off the number part, then a second for her to move the clipboard so the previously cast ballots couldn’t escape. And they said they made it easier!!

But enough about me. The polling station was slow and the few workers I talked to said it was slow all day but “expected it to pick up”. That didn’t sound all that reassuring, but I got my bet down and made it home. That is all that really matters for the moment.

5:47pm: Not much action on the polling yet.  No emails. I haven’t gone through all the tweets yet. No notifications of replies on the blog and there were not many people on the course. I’ll be going through FB and Twitter to see if anyone is tipping their hand. Details before eleven.

LIVE POLLING RESULTS (now closed to lack of interest. If you were anxiously following this then frankly, and I am sorry, but you are an idiot.)

Jack: 17

Harpo: 2

Iggy: 5

May: 1

These results are 100% accurate, reflecting actual statements, innuendo or supposition from people I actually talk to, Tweet, email,FB or overhear. If you want you voice heard here comment, twitter @thatguyinlondon, email tgil@420-friendly.com or yell outside my window. I’ll try to keep this up to date….starting when I get back from golf.

8:21pm: Did you read above about scrapping the LIVE POLL? No? Go do it, we’ll wait………not.

Twitter is all a twitter with election talk. Mostly it is boasts to just get out and vote, some hashtags are trying to circumvent the Election Canada laws on social media. Or are they going for free speech? Either way they are saying it can be seen by time shifting, or feeds from the USA.  No wonder Canada will need new prisons. Those who can make more and more laws. That is the “unreported crimes” they want us to prepare for. It sucks.

I was reading about other voting methods. I wish I had kept that page open so I could link to it, but sorry, for now it is gone. I liked the one where you vote for a rep in your riding AND who you want at the helm. There were quite a few options given and all sounded better than the one we have now. Never in my life will I ever accept that less than 50% is a majority.

8:32pm: 1 hour before local polls close.

10:12pm: The numbers are coming in and looked scary at first. I cannot fathom how many people are voting Con. The Con supporter’s big slam on NDP is calling them socialist. I looked that up and NDP is not socialist, social maybe, but then shouldn’t we all be social? I also looked up fascist . Go ahead and read it. Does that resemble anyone you have heard of, or a party you may have voted for? No label is truly accurate, they so rarely are.  I guess we get the government we let big business pay for.

That said I am really happy the NDP and Jack are doing so well. He’ll make a great opposition leader and deserves a place in history. Nobody anywhere, not even Jack could have predicted this level of electoral success.

10:23pm: Not many words coming. I think I am in shock a bit. I really thought the public would send the Cons a different message.

10:40pm: May spoke well on CBC.  London Free Press (not the live chat one) has a nice graphic for showing the results and projected results. I like it because it is passive (not all in your face) and it is more optimistic  of projected outcomes than CBC. More optimistic for me anyways. CBC: 160/105/32. LFP: 160/106/30.  Damn, so much for a brighter outlook, they evened out. Damn! This guy is saying more people voted Con just to stop an NDP government.  My guess for our near future is if you don’t make at least $50K a year, they’ll figure a way to get you into the super jails. Sound bleak? Never have I wished to be wrong more than now. Well….there was that time….I’ll tell ya’ later.

12:07am: The day after. Sorta’. Where do I start? With the positive stuff or the major buzzkill reality I see? I’ll start with positive. That way if you bail early at least you get the good stuff.

Elizabeth May has won a seat and that is very, very good. A small voice indeed, but a voice just the same.

Jack, not the NDP got a lot of support today. That is good, but good enough? What can he really do with a Con “majority”? He also gets new digs.

Another example of good escapes me at the moment. If you know of any, please let me know so I can fill that list out a bit.

To set the tone, let me say I feel like Canada fell for the dropped soap in the shower scam.

Over 60% of Canadians voted for a Con “majority”. I feel conned.

From what I can see it was a pitiful voter turn-out. So much for the Main Stream Media “having a major effect” on this election. The students were supposed to come out in force. Where were you? MSM can sure talk the talk, but….

Super prisons are coming. New laws are being slipped through with the omni-bill. Those “unreported crimes” will soon become a reality. It may be time to lock up your kids before the super prisons do.

Some are saying same sex marriage and right to choice will be re-opened. Add to that the increase in “The War on Drugs” moneysink. Those prisons are getting fuller and fuller.

65 Fighter Jets. Zoom, zoom goes billions of dollars.

My own conspiracy theory is anyone making under say $50K a year will be undesirable and a law will be made to get them. I sure hope I get over that quickly, it’s friggin’ scary. I’m going to have to find some more work. Got a job for me?

Thank goodness I got to play golf today or it would have been the worst day of my life. I’ll get over it. I’ll wonder about contempt of parliament and hope that comes back and bites HIM in the ass. Other charges pending against the Cons may have an effect as well.

12:26 am: Jack is about to speak. I am out of here.

END

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